The following transcript is the live interview with 30 Odd Foot of Grunts on KINK radio. (Portland, Oregon, August 22 2001)

KINK DJ Dave Scott: We're here in the Live Performance Lounge at KINK FM 102. This is a fun afternoon. I think we'll officially dub this the "House of Grunt."
Russell: Cool. Well, we've actually put our stickers all over your bathroom, you'll see that later on.

DS: I have a feeling we're going to discover a lot of those little things after you guys leave. Here in the studio with us is a band that last night, as I understand it ö I didn't have the fortune to hear you last night in the Roseland, but I heard you ripped the place up.
RC: We had a little bit of fun. DS: You had a great show, a lot of calls. It's 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, and I've got a roomful of people, so why don't we start by introducing everybody. Stewart Kirwan on the trumpet.
RC: You can talk, Stewart.

Stewart: How you doin'? (Russell giggles)

DS: "How you doin'?" He just blows, you know, he doesn't talk, he just blows. Dave Wilkins on guitar.

Dave W: Hey, how you doin', mate?

DS: Garth Adams . . .

Garth: Yeah, hi.

DS: . . . bass guitarist, there at bottom end of the band, keeping 'em movin'·Dave Kelly, my man, on the drums.

Dave K: Hey.

RC: He's the tailbone of the band.

DS: Yeah, right there, the tailbone! Dean Cochran on lead guitar.

Dean: Ga'day, mate. (all laugh)

DS: Right there. You practiced that, too, didn't you, just for this occasion?
RC: That's his special radio voice.

DS: You're going to have to help me out. You look familiar to me, I recognize you from some place
RC: I was your second grade teacher.

(All laugh)

DS: That's it! My second grade teacher, Russell Crowe on lead vocals, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts.
RC: How you doin', folks?

DS: Of course, Russell has the film career and everything, but today . .
RC: No, no, I have a day job.

DS: Well that's your day job.
RC: That's what we call it, the day job.

DS: Thats the day job. What we're gonna do here today is introduce people to the other side of not only this man, but all the men around with him, because I don't know if a lot of people know this, but you've been doing music for like, since you were in high school.
RC: Yeah, my first record came out in 1982. Rocketed straight to the bottom of the charts. Half a dozen bullets in it.

DS: Was that the Marlon Brando song?
RC: Yeah. Actually, that was the biggest-selling of all those singles I think. (Laughs)

DS: What was your name? Russell Le Roc?
RC: I was 16, mate. Give me a f**king break. (All laugh) There was a lot of peer-group pressure going on there. I was working in a night club that was all about 1950s rock and roll, so basically everybody from the hat-check girl to the barmaid had a nickname, you know.

DS: It works.
RC: I mean, the bass player of the band was like five foot eleven, 220 pounds, a white guy from the South Island -- and he was called "The Boston Black". Work it out. I have no idea. The guy we worked for just used to give out nicknames left, right, and center.

DS: I heard you talking to Conan O'Brien, he asked if we could find a copy of that "I Want to Be Like Marlon Brando" and you said there's probably not one to be had on this earth?
RC: Well, they've been popping up, they're on eBay now, I think.

DS: Really?RC: You can get one for $750.00 or something like that, if you're that stupid. (All laugh) I mean, there's a really good reason folks at home, why that record didn't set the world alight. There's a really good reason, and it's not worth 750 bucks to find out that it's crap. (Grunts all laugh)

BS: Well, let's bring things up to the present here. Why don't we start off by playing a tune here, it's "Thirty Foot Odd of Grunts."
RC: Excuse me? ...30 Odd Foot.

DS: I'm sorry, 30 Odd Foot, I've got a little dyslexia, so bear with me.
RC: See, drummers, right?

DS: (interrupts) 30 Odd Foot . . .
RC: One, four, three, two ö why didn't you guys start?

DS: Here's Crowe Russell, on KINK FM 102.

(Band plays "Memorial Day" live)

DS: KINK FM 102, and from the Live Performance Lounge, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts. TOFOG.
RC: Thank you, Dave.

DS: TOFOG. I see why you went to the "TOFOG" actually.
RC: Yeah, well, you see, we do a lot of merchandise with embroidery and everything, and it's just a hell of a lot cheaper than writing, "30 Odd Foot of Grunts."

(All laugh)

DS: Well, when I first heard the name ö and I'm sure you've answered a million times as to what you meant when you named the band "30 Odd Foot of Grunts" - but what I thought of was that this was a band that named themselves back when they used to haul their own amplifiers. Back before they had roadies.

RC: Right.

Grunts: We still do that!

DS: You still do that?
RC: Yeah, (laughing) nothing's changed. There's dozens of different ways we've described it over the years, just to answer that question, 'cause everybody always asks it. But the reality of the question is, we just wanted a name that meant nothing - a series of words thrown together that eventually, when people got to know the songs, then the name would have a meaning. What does "The Beatles" mean until you know their songs, you know? So we didn't want anything pretentious or . . . and what people are really looking for when they question us about that is like, what genre of music do you fit into? You know, is this a heavy metal band, or this kind of band, that kind of band. The thing is, you know, our type of music is best described as folk music, but that doesn't mean we're not four-on-the-floor and we don't have a few loud songs, but quite frankly, all our songs are narrative-based, and, that to us, is where the beauty lies.

DS: Well, I know that's a uniquely American inclination to want to name things and categorize things. Do you find that's true in the Australian music scene as well?
RC: I think that's a world-wide thing, really.

DS: Yeah, 'cause people need to know, so they can give it a name,
RC: Yeah, so they can hang it ö- "Oh, that's that, I don't need that in my life, because that's that."

DS: But the Australian scene, I was gonna ask, 'cause I know you've been doing this since you were 17, you and Dean both, right?
RC: Uh-huh.

DS: You met in high school. I'm sure you guys kicked around the Australian pub scene as well, and in hearing stories from the likes of Australian bands that I've come up with, like AC/DC and Midnight Oil, they always talk about what a rough scene it is to play in the Australian pubs. I mean how tough it is to actually make your mark. And the fact that they have absolutely no problem telling you that you stink if they don't like your music.
RC: Oh, absolutely, sure, it's very brutal. I mean, we have things that we call beer barns, where anywhere from a thousand upwards and basically, before you get anywhere near the stage, everybody is well, well on their way, you know? So if you don't come out and do something they want to listen to, mate, they're going to tell you about it straight away.

DS: I can see that would be a little daunting, stepping onstage to face something like that.
RC: No, no, you just drink at the same pace as they do. (All laugh)

DS: Ah, there you go! A little philosophy a la Russell Crowe here today. What is the most -ö okay, let's talk about that. You guys have been on stage, doing the music thing, for a long time. What is the most daunting rock and roll nightmare that you've ever experienced on stage? Your worst, worst, nightmare?
RC: Mmmmm, Davey, you wanna go first? You've got more than the rest of us, I think. (Laughs)

Dave W: Yeah, well, I'd been going on stage, actually, on television and going live-to-air, and you're out there thinking you're pretty cool, and then forgetting the words to the songs, completely.

DS: Totally blanked out?

Dave W: Yeah.

DS: How'd you handle it?

Dave W: Well, I ran off and smashed things, and -- no, no, it was horrible.

RC: We actually did the Jay Leno show the other day, and you know it's one thing just popping in and doing something, but they required us to go in, set up, sound check, do the camera check, and then sit there all day thinking about it. That was the worst thing, man, we had four hours of like this, sitting in the green room, thinking "We're about to go on national television -- in America -- live." (Laughs)

DS: Yeah, but you're not freaked out by that, are you, guys? I mean . . .
RC: If you don't have the performance adrenaline, there's no point in doing it. You gotta have that rush, that's what it's all about, you know? It's that feeling of getting out there and sort of stretching yourself, you know.

Dave K: We peaked three hours earlier.

RC: The day that I do a show where I'm not nervous backstage is probably gonna be the last time I do a show.

DS: Point well taken. Give us an idea of some of the dynamics in the band. Who writes most of the music, is it a joint effort, is it all you, Russell? How's this work?
RC: Sometimes I write completely by myself, but most of the time Dean gives me pieces of music and pretty much within the first five minutes of me hearing it, it will kind of bring the story out that I've been working on anyway, so at this point in time it's mainly me and Dean. But also on the record, there's collaborations between all of us and also a collaboration between me and Dave Wilkins.

DS: I'm very curious how it works, as a band, 'cause I know you have to spend a lot of time practicing and rehearsing. When you're off on your day job, what do you guys do? I mean, do you find that you get enough time to get together and get as tight as you'd like?
RC: Well . . .

Dave K: We pine.

RC: Is what?

Dave K: We just sit around and pine.

DS: And moon?

(All laugh)

RC: They send the emails going, "Rusty, when you coming back, Rusty?" The thing is, everybody's got other things on, you know? Garth works for a merchant bank. Dave has a post-production facility in Australia, and there is one philosophy, the sort of Neil Flynn philosophy that you've gotta be living in each other's pockets in order to get to a certain point. But I actually believe the other way around, you know, "absence makes the heart grow fonder," and it's the time that we spend away, the first ten minutes back in a rehearsal room when we're back together again, is gigantic.

DS: You kind of rediscover the magic.
RC: Every time that we get together, we're just better. It's just kind of a funny thing, you spend some time considering the things that you were playing before, and maybe making some adjustments mentally for when you get back to it. But it can be a little annoying, especially for Dean because he's the one that cracks the whip in the rehearsal room. (Laughs) He's like, "Have you blokes not listened to these songs for the last three months? (all laugh)

Dean: Yeah.

DS: Well, we're gonna talk about, you have the new album. It's "Bastard Life or Clarity," right?
RC: Yeah.

DS: And you recorded that in Texas, so we'll talk about that here in a little bit. I'd love to hear another song, though, if you don't mind.
RC: Cool.

DS: Why don't we fire it up again, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, Russell Crowe, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, KINK FM 102.

(Band plays "Sail Those Same Oceans.")

RC: Cool trumpet sound huh?

Dave K: Great.

RC: Why don't you sound like that every night, mate? (All laugh) All right, so we have to bring this bloke from the radio station with us now, do we? Mate, you doing anything tonight?

DS: Nope. I like that too, the muted trumpet kills me, it really does. KINK FM 102, and just joining us from the Live Performance Lounge that was Russell Crowe on lead vocals and 30 Odd Foot of Grunts and a song I recognize. You did that on the Leno show the other night, that was the song you did, wasn't it?
RC: Yeah, yeah but this was a bit of a better version.

DS: You didn't like your performance that night?
RC: No, we didn't. Well, I didn't. These guys, they're cool, whatever. We've discussed it over and over again, mate, don't bring it up, it's a sensitive subject.

(One of the Grunts joking in a high voice) Up, we're outta here . . .

DS: I'm sorry. We will move on. You guys, do you remember, what was the song, when you first got together as a unit, do you remember the song you first jammed on? When you got to know each other musically, somebody suggested, "Let's do·."
RC: In this configuration, the first song that we did, we wrote a song as Stewart walked in the door. We were rehearsing and we wrote a song called "Things Have Got to Change," which is the track one on the album.

DS: And that's the first song you actually . . .
RC: That's the first song in this configuration. Before Stewart we had another trumpet player and being as most trumpet players are mercenary bastards, this guy deputized another trumpet player to just turn up for rehearsal. So Stewie walks in and we're like, "Oh, right-o," you know? And the thing is, he's better looking and he sings better and he plays better than the other bloke, so we never saw that bastard again.

DS: Yeah, and he's not disagreeing, either, is he?

(All laugh)

RC: No, that's exactly what happened. But he walked in, in the middle of the process of writing a song. I think that's one of the reasons he kind of fell in love with what we were doing, it was very open and we were throwing ideas around. And that's a pretty groovy song, too.

DS: Not daunting or anything, to walk into that cold. "Okay, I can handle this."

Stewart: Oh, I just started jamming.

DS: Yeah, that's what it's all about, speaking together as a musical unit. The new album's called "Bastard Life or Clarity," you guys recorded this in Texas. Why Texas?
RC: I went down there in '97 to do a publicity thing for, I think, "L.A. Confidential" or something like that, or "Breaking Up," one of those movies, and it's just a real music town. You walk down 6th Street in Austin, one bar's got reggae on and the next bar's got country, and it was just the sort of place that was so full of music, and the people were really open about music. So I thought, well, next time I record an album, that would be a good place to go and do it. Plus, the facilities are there, and we've recorded at Arlyn Studios, which is one of the places owned by Willie Nelson and it's just a good studio. And everything. And it's small enough as a town that it can be kind of controlled, and you can walk out of the studio, as these guys did many, many nights, and go straight up the road to the Continental Club. It's been there since 1957. And at four o'clock in the morning, if I needed to find them. (band laughs)

DS: You knew where to go!

(All Laugh)

RC: It was real easy. (All laugh) "Just send the bus round the club and kick 'em . . . "

DS: Did I understand correctly, that it's available only on the Internet?
RC: Well, for the last six years, that's how we sold records, but just recently we signed a deal in America with a company called Artemis and the album is, the a street date --you k now I like that, "I'm gonna tell you the street date now, folks, the street date is the 18th of September. Write that down on your calendar, run down and buy 10, 20 copies, some for your relatives, you know? Yeah. 'Bastard Life or Clarity,' TOFOG, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts."

DS: Russell Crowe. Never stops selling, ladies and gentlemen. (Russell giggles) Never stops selling. Hey, listen, I'm really glad you guys were able to work out the second show at the Roseland, and if you don't mind indulging us, we had a little thing on the morning show ö you talked to Les earlier ö the KINK Morning Show ö and they held a drawing, and what we have here are the qualifiers for free tickets to the show tonight and a chance to go backstage and meet you guys.
RC: (Laughs) Suckers! (Laughs)

(All laugh)

Grunts: Thats what you think . . . You don't know what you're in for!

RC: They think it's a prize! The person we pull out is, in fact, the loser.

DS: I didn't want to go and say that, I was glad you did.
RC: There's actually a couple of tickets left for tonight, I think about 50 or something 100 tickets, if anybody's not doing anything this evening. 'Cause this is the only show in this tour of 16 shows that's not completely sold out. So that'd be a bummer, right? We'd have to go back to Australia, "It was 99.5% sold out, because of Portland." (Laughs)

DS: And they tried to blame it on the rain! Would you be so kind as to indulge us and pick out the winner, Russell? And his hand is stuck·.
RC: I can't get my hand out of the jar!

DS: We brought in a beer mug, we thought he'd like that touch.
RC: And the loser is . . . John McCabe.

(Grunts cheer)

RC: We'll see you backstage, Johnny. Hope you got your girlfriend with you, mate, and I hope she's good looking! Dress up, of course, it's formal John, you can't get backstage without a suit and tie on.

DS: You'll be hauling' the equipment out after the show.
RC: Yeah, we've got plenty of things for you to do, very interesting experiences. Pulling down lights, stacking up the . . . actually packing up the drum kit.

Dave Kelly: Oh, that'd be great!

RC: Every town we go to we have to find a new person to pack up the drum kit, 'cause he just won't do it.

DS: He wised up a long time ago. He got into rock and roll for the fame and the glamour, not the actual back-breaking labor. Well, listen, Stewart and Dave and Garth and Dave and Dean, thank you guys so much for joining us today and sitting in with us and playing the Performance Lounge. Hey, Russell ö nice to meet you, buddy!

Grunts: Thanks Dave!

RC: Cheers, man.

DS: Keep at that day job, you might make it some day.
RC: Cool. You mean you don't want us to do another 10 songs?

DS: I don't know. Another 10 songs? We're getting a thumbs-up, you want to take us out with a song, do one more song?
RC: This is gonna be cool. What song shall we do? "Swept Away?" Can we do that easily?

DS: You want to do "Swept Away"? All right, cool. Once again·.
RC: We'll have to talk about it for a while first, though, 'cause he's gotta change the cymbals on his tambourine and he's gotta de-tune.

DS: (Imitating a radio voice-over) What we're witnessing is actual rock and roll behind-the-scenes preparations. What you're hearing is what happens every day in recording studios all over the country.
RC: (Imitating the same voice-over) And we're probably making a very, very, big mistake, because we did the two songs, they went okay ö this one will probably suck.

DS: I just want to let you know, it was your idea.
RC: (Laughs) Yeah.

DS: I was all set to let you go, okay?
RC: If it goes badly, man, I'm gonna drag myself outta here and I'm gonna kick my own ass.

DS: All right, then, here they are, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts.

(Dean tuning guitar in background)

RC: Hold on, hold on, you gotta . . . look . . . Dean . . .

DS: Oh still not ready?
RC: . . . if he's tuning like that, it probably means that he's not 100% correct and ready. Ready to rock.

DS: Gottcha. I just thought it was effect.
RC: What should we talk about? What sort of drums do you play?

DS: I had a Slingerland set. That was my last set, I had my dream set, my Slingerland double-bass with about 50 cymbals, and it was the ultimate heavy metal, rock-and-roll drum set. Then I got into radio and ended up selling it for a horrible loss, and haven't played in a while.

Stewart: Traded it for a microphone?

RC: Why did you have to sell it, just 'cause you're in radio?

DS: Cause I got into radio . . .
RC: They don't let you -- they don't want you to be known as a drummer?

DS: I wasn't living in places where you could deal with drums. I started moving around a lot, my band went the other way, and I just got focused on radio
RC: Uh huh.

DS: And life moved on.
RC: Cool.

DS: You know how that works.
RC: (to the band) You going to be all right like that, singing there like that? Don't muck yourself up on the percussive thing.

Dave W: We're okay.

RC: Dave Kelly's on tambourine and potato. (Laughs) I know it's a visual medium, but that sound, folks, is actually . . .

DS: A 'tater.
RC: That's a potato. It is isn't it? I'm telling the people the truth, right?

DS: Are we ready now?
RC: Yeah, I think so.

DS: All right. Once again, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts at KINK FM 102.

(Band plays "Swept Away Bayou")

RC: "Swept Away Bayou," 30 Odd Foot of Grunts from the album "Bastard Life or Clarity." We're playing tonight at the Roseland Theater here in Portland. Yeah. Over to you, Dave!

DS: Russell Crowe, always selling, ladies and gentlemen.

(All laugh)

RC: Mate, somebody's gotta do it, you know?

DS: You guys, you had to love that performance, that was your best one.
RC: Yeah, it didn't suck too bad. It was cool.

DS: You guys did that real well. See, you live on the edge, sometimes it pays off.
RC: Exactly. Exactly

DS: All right, tonight's the night, second show at the Roseland, do not miss this show. It was a great one last night, it promises to be even better. I think they're in the mood to play tonight, I get that feeling.
RC: Oh, yeah!

DS: All right, you guys.
RC: The greatest irony is, we're the least corporate band you're ever gonna come across.

DS: Why do I get that feeling?
RC: I don't know! It took us two years of actively looking to find a record company in America that would, bottom line, sign an honest deal. That means, if they sell a CD, then we should make some money, right? Every other record company's like, "Oh, no, no! If we sell a CD, you wait; and when we sell one million, we give you some money."

Grunts: Yes, two dollars!

DS: So you're happy with the deal?
RC: Yeah, totally, 100%. It's really cool. So we don't have to answer those questions any more. People say, "But where can we buy your records?" "Well, we sell them on the Internet." "Yeah, but I've been to the shops and I can't buy 'em." "Well, that's because we sell them on the Internet." "Yes, I know, but they're not in my local record store." "Shut up, all right?!" So, now they will be in your local record store.

DS: Excellent. All of 'em?
RC: Just "Bastard Life or Clarity" to start with. The other albums maybe, we'll see what they do.

DS: Give the web address for those who want to get 'em on the Internet.
RC: "www.gruntland.com -- Enter at your own risk!"

DS: Easy to remember. 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, Russell Crowe.

Grunts: Thanks Dave!

DS: Live from the KINK Performance Lounge at KINK FM 102.

(Thanks to Karen B. and Rhiannon for providing us with the tape. Thanks to Karen B. and Paperwork People for transcribing.)